Dazedreaming

CIS 310

2011-03-09T22:22:00.000-08:00

This is a special entry for my CIS 310 class. I had a good time learning all sorts of fun things with Excel and Access this quarter. I enjoyed taking this class during the Winter Quarter.

http://www.yahoo.com/

http://www.google.com/

Separation

2010-04-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

When do you know that a relationship with someone in your life is severed? Is it when you don't give a crap about what they say? Is it when you give up on them? Is it when you feel awkward around them when you otherwise shouldn't be awkward? Is it when you get sick of hearing their voice, seeing their voice, dealing with their bullshit? Is it when you feel like the second you see them you no longer want to see them? Is it when you think about them, even when they're not there, and you feel sick? I don't know when it is that it happens but I know that it can happen easily and often. The question for me then is, are all relationships salvageable? Can we one day have a good relationship with someone who we so despise? Are differences in opinions and views really such determining factors in any kind of a relationship? If you were to tell me that you've never grown sufficiently apart from someone who you were close with, you'd be lieing. This is my first blog post in ages, although if I had the means to blog more I may. I kind of miss it.

That's A Doozie

2010-02-24T11:59:00.000-08:00

"dude, does it ever hit you that we're in out of high school relationships. like, this may be serious"

Yup I do, and my reaction is Yikes! Don't know what else to say, it's scary but a good scary. Who would have thought it be the both of us huh?

Sorry

2010-02-17T20:11:00.001-08:00

I apologize for neglecting you blog, I'm sorry that I've neglected anyone who reads this blog it's just that my priorities have changed. I don't know what else to say, the future is kinda looking grim right now. I'm a little scared but even more excited for what's to come. I have to register for spring quarter classes tomorrow morning, and I want to take classes with friends but I also don't because I don't want to take any pointless classes. I've decided to give up fapping, fast food, and soda for lent. I need to straighten myself out, my wrists are gonna be pretty red right now cause I need to snap back to where I need to be. I have to reduce my stress, prioritize and get more sleep.

Hard Luck

2010-01-30T14:54:00.000-08:00

I haven't had a whole lot to say here recently. I don't know why, maybe it's cause I feel like it doesn't matter anymore. Maybe it's cause I'm out of new fresh things to talk about. What I think it really is, is that I spend my days so well and full that I'm too tired to say anything. Or maybe it's cause everytime I think of something I'm automatically telling someone. Part of the reason this blog was so active before is that I didn't really have anyone to tell my ideas to and I was pretty much unheard. It's worth noting though that I've had so seriously bad luck this year. Seriously. I know I've said it before, but it's been horrible. This quarter is a real drag for me though, too many damn projects and groups. It's just one big pain in the ass, and I'm obviously procrastinating again. I haven't done a single reading this entire quarter, but it's time to change that. I'm going to start being more productive and efficient and hopefully catch up within this next week or so. That is all for now. Hopefully I start making this blog worth a damn again haha.

Sandcastle?

2010-01-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

You are the light at the end of my tunnel. The rainbow after the rain. You put a smile on my face wider and longer than anyone before. You scare me for all the right reasons. You make me feel that everything is going to be alright. You make me feel that I'm amazing, that I'm not irrelevant in this world. Your smile makes me forget all my troubles. You make me want to be an even better me. Everytime I see something beautiful I think of you, for two reasons. One because the beauty of it doesn't compare to the beauty I see in you, and two because I want to share every beautiful moment with you. You make my mood a happier one, even when you're not happy. The sound of you voice makes me feel at ease. The look in your eye makes me weak. I don't know what's going on inside of me, but what I do know is that it feels good. You've changed my life so much in less than a month, and you've made yourself my priority. I'm cheating on my love with you, and basketball will forgive me since you appreciate her as well. We work well together and I couldn't be happier with me, with you, with us right now.

Hot Mess

2010-01-20T14:56:00.000-08:00

So, I've been all over the place lately. Little good is happening in my life right now. I'm being super irresponsible, I keep losing everything, slacking off in school, a parking ticket, and getting into a car accident which was my fault. Just perfect right? I think it's because I've started living differently, nothing is routine anymore. I'm not used to my life right now. It's little things that have changed that make me feel so, odd. My life feels kind of foreign right now. My own life confuses me. I don't know what to do to get my life back on track. When I find out I'll let you know. Let me just say 2010 has not been good to me so far.

Little Known Fact

2010-01-16T13:41:00.000-08:00

Is that I read my horoscope nearly every day. I just enjoy it, and today they are so much more accurate than usual.

My "Love" Horoscope:

Intensity follows your planets today. Not only have you handled a situation at the office well, you're not doing to bad in your relationship either. You're finding out that this could be something much more then an a casual affair or exciting flirtation

My Daily Horoscope:

Those who know and love you are never surprised at what tumbles from your lips. When you begin spouting off even a bit more bluntly than usual over the next couple days (which is really saying something, for you), if you're with the usual suspects, no one will bat an eyelash.

It's just kinda amazing how accurate these things really can be. I couldn't have put them any better myself.

Back at it

2010-01-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

I just got back in the gym again. I'm feeling good about, actually feeling kinda great about it. I just needa keep fixing up the way I eat and it'll be all good. I got a parking ticket the other day something I'm not exactly proud of haha. When I say back I also mean back at the weekly grind of school. I'm not a fan of waking up at 6 am every single morning, nor am I a fan of the ridiculous amounts of reading I have to do for my classes. Yes blog as I have forgone to mention up to this point I do have a girlfriend. She makes me happy and I enjoy hanging out with her. My Michaels discount has really been pretty helpful as of late since it's the beginnning of a new quarter and Mikey is an art major haha. I did some things on the basketball court Saturday morning at Suzanne that I've never done before. That surprises me because I thought there were few things that I haven't done yet, other than dunk. I was on such a high from my good play that I lost my keys in Ikea, irresponsible is definitely what I was being. Nontheless these things have led me to make some more changes in my life. I'm just trying to improve in any way I can right now. Hopefully I can evolve into a new employment opportunity pretty soon. I really need to start using my planner more effectively.

Winter 2010

2010-01-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

I can already tell that this quarter is going to be a drag. I just don't enjoy any of my classes other than the current debates about sexuality class. They all involve too much reading and way too much work. I always start off liking my philosophy classes until I start getting lazy and not keeping up and feel like it's pointless, so I guess we'll see what happens this time around. My room is a hot mess, dirty laundry everywhere cause I haven't done it in 2 weeks; and books everywhere cause I just have way too many to read. This year started off with a bang though, thanks to Jenny. So far she's been the best thing about my 2010, and no I'm not trying to be all mushy gushy and no I'm not whipped. It is true though that she's been the only real good thing to happen so far this year. I got a damn parking ticket today which just pissed me the hell off. Today was a real shitty day, I can only hope tomorrow is better. Oh and I just had an epiphany, for those who feel heartbroken the best thing to realize is that:

"your heart is a muscle, therefore it cannot be broken it can only be ripped. In time the muscle heals itself from this rip and becomes bigger and stronger than ever before."

A Year in Review

2010-01-01T12:12:00.000-08:00

Quite frankly I have bad memory so I can't distinctly make out what happened this year. It's all kind of been a blur. There's been real good times and real bad times. It seems that this year I have built out things that are becoming habits for me. I've learned more about myself this year than any single year prior to that. I've fought inner battles and grown extensively. I turned 20 this year, which means that well I'm that much closer to being completely independent. I have made huge steps in that category this yer. I have my own car now, I have a job, and I've made lots of progress. I have almost everything that I wanted to gain. I still have a lot of self improvement left to go, and a lot of goals to accomplish. Those will be covered in my next post when I state my New Year's Resolutions which are more of goals for me. I'm getting better at staying connected with people, I am networking better, and I'm enjoying my life more. I've even started reading again. I play ball as often as I can which means that I'm staying true to myself and making sure to make me happy. Overall despite lacking headlining memories, 2009 was a good year. It was a year of self improvement, hard work, family, friends, and adversity. I can only hope I'll make more of 2010. Every year is what you make it, for those claiming 2009 wasn't good they're overlooking all the good that has come from it. Look at it as the glass half full not empty and you'll see what I mean. That's it for now, New Year's Resolutions to come soon.

Holiday Season

2009-12-29T01:32:00.000-08:00

It's been a real nice winter break so far. I haven't had much time to blog since I'm not home very often, usually when I am home I'm sleeping or my mom is on my computer, so I'll try to recap everything in this one post.

Christmas was fun, it was pretty much the usual Christmas. I got a lot of cool things: gym membership, PS3 things like that. But I also gave out a lot of gifts. I can't really remember what else I've been doing but it seems like I've been out nearly every night. There is a new girl that I'm talking to right now, she might have to be the next addition to the crush list, we'll see about that. I'm loving the extra sense of freedom I have now. I've also been playing a lot of basketball, but I've had very little sleep and I'm coming down with a cold right now. I guess that's what happens when your body gets overworked. I just need to start putting that gym membership to good use and make sure to stay hydrated which I really haven't been doing. My fingers are getting really really dry and cracked and it's quite painful and a bit of a pain in the ass. Now I know what Mikey goes through. I'll upload Christmas pictures later if I get around to it. My next blog will probably be in the New Year with my list of New Years Resolutions. I've got some thinking to do. lol

Evolution of Dance

2009-12-23T01:57:00.000-08:00

This could be UBER late, or completely new to you, but I just found it and loved it so here it is.

Shopping Spree

2009-12-22T20:22:00.000-08:00

After work today I hit up Mel and we went on a Christmas Shopping spree!! It was fun, we got presents for everyone that I needed to get some for, and even saved a lot of money. It was cool and enjoyable, we should do it again. Except of course that it costs money, and I don't always have money to spend.

Two Decades in the Making

2009-12-21T02:28:00.000-08:00

Just got home from celebrating my 20th birthday. We didn't do it real big like we had planned because scheduling got in the way, but we definitely did it our style. We got a late bite to eat at the Elephant Bar which was hilarious, our waitress(es) kept giving us extra food and we got two free birthday sundaes. One for me and one for Josh, since our waitress was SOOOO convinced it was Josh's birthday. We even sung Josh Happy Birthday LOL. Classic. Then we caught Avatar in 3D. The movie was fucking amazing, absolutely terrific. It really had you in awe the entire time, I mean sure it was kinda predictable but it was better than I expected. The only drawback is that it was ridiculously long. James Cameron is amazing. It was one of those movies that makes you hate the world you live in.

Thank you Mel for the present, I'm glad I didn't try to guess what it was cause I was wayyyyyyy off haha. The book looks entertaining, but the bookmark and the explanation go down as quite possibly my favorite gift either. Maybe it's because it actually means something and you had to dig deep and find the inner Kraig LOL. Really though, it's the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten and I appreciate it. I only hope that I'll be able to return the favor one day.

All in all it was a fun day(aside from work). Even though we didn't go to Morongo(the original plan) or the Strip Club(the second plan) it was still a great night. I still wanna go to a nudie bar which I'm sure we will in time. I love you all, and thanks for making my 20th birthday my best so far.

It's Friday

2009-12-18T12:09:00.000-08:00

Four days of basketball in a row. Today felt like a waste of time though cause I didn't even get in one game. Note to self:picking up a game alone at the Teen Center is not as easy as picking one up at the park. Actually I probably could have got in a game if I had felt like it, but frankly I didn't feel like playing. On another note, it's weird to see a guy who is pretty much the same exact player as you, but better. It makes you feel like crap, like you don't belong on the court. Maybe it's just one of those days where I had no confidence to play and felt kinda outta place. I felt like I was back in middle school watching all the popular guys on the team play, just waiting to get my shot on the court. It's a terrible feeling. I hate going back to that, it makes me feel, inadequate. Well, I'm super tired so I'm probably gonna take a nap right now and see when I wake up. It's a Friday, I have my first day off since Monday, and I have nothing to do. Great. Maybe I will hit up Zach in the Dena. We'll see what I feel like when I wake up, but I do really really need to do some laundry.

One to Rule Them All

2009-12-15T18:15:00.000-08:00

We all have insecurities right? While we all know that to become truly happy we must come to grips with these insecurities some of us never will. I have one insecurity that dictates everything that happens in my life. It dictates the choices I make nearly every second of every day. I'm so insecure about it that I feel like I can't even tell it to my own blog. This remains to this day the ONE THING that I have never told anyone. I mean NEVER, I'm not sure if I ever will either. I guess we'll just see, I mean theoretically I would love to tell someone, but I just don't know if I can. I'm sure I'll tell someone someday, I just don't know when that will be.

Back in Action

2009-12-14T22:04:00.000-08:00

First day back playing ball in over 3 weeks. I played, okay. I was able to run well and I had some agility, the only problem is my footwork was a little bit awkward. I started to find my shots later, but for some reason my right forearm is SUPER sore. Maybe it's cause of all the heavy lifting done today, carrying so many TV's all over the place. The good part? I now have a 52" Sony Bravia LCD in my living room, not too shabby if you ask me. I feel great after finally playing ball though, and I plan on getting back into it once again. Today starts a 6-month training period for me(and Justin) until we play Pacrim during the summer. I also have the daunting task of getting Keith back into playing shape, and picking his game up as well so he can be one of our big guys..pause. Six months, it starts now. Straighten up my diet, put in time exercising, put in a lot of time working on my game, and make a few more lifestyle changes that will make everything that much easier.

Goal: Drop 10 pounds in 6 months, add lean muscle while doing so. Help Keith drop 20 pounds or so, and get him a better handle. Consistency with my game.

P.S. I have gained over 20 pounds since I graduated from High School. Not too sure how it happened, but I damn sure feel like a fat ass haha.

A Lil' Celtic Love

2009-12-14T01:20:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across these girls singing on a PBS concert tonight and the first thing I did was O_O These girls are amazing. I don't even know what to say, but all I know is that it felt blogworthy.

Celtic Woman - You Raise Me Up - Ireland 2006 - STEREO video

More Music Videos at Smashbeats

Ms. Boss Lady

2009-12-13T02:06:00.000-08:00

I've come to the realization that I hate having people bitch at me. I hate having people telling me what to do, when I need not be told because I was about to do it anyway. I hate having people talk down to me like I'm some retarded kid, I hate having people treat me like I'm a lazy bum who does nothing but waste time. More importantly I hate being judged by someone who obviously has had it out for me since Day 1. So, all of that being said. I would like to go on record saying that one day I aspire to be my own boss that way I don't have to hear any of this.

Sometimes no matter how obedient you are, no matter how nice you are, no matter how friendly you are, and no matter how hard you work you just won't be able to please everyone. So you know what I say fuck it. If you think I'm lazy that's your problem not mine, and before you go off accusing me of things make sure that you have your facts straight. Lady, you are lucky that you have a higher position than me, and I would like to keep my job or I would have set you straight you sexist son-of-a-bitch. I won't let you get me too riled up though, because I'm better than that, and quite frankly I've been working on controlling my anger so I'll just take a deep breath and call it a night.

Winter

2009-12-11T23:37:00.000-08:00

It's official. I'm on Winter Break, and things are already looking up. I donated blood today which made me feel really good, especially since they through in a coupon for free Coldstone and free Clipper tickets. I feel like it's pretty much a fresh start for me right here and now. I'm feeling better and being smarter. Now I needa pay all my fees at the library and also next quarters fees at Cal Poly and everything is taken care of. I bought a planner that I plan to utilize to the fullest. Now I just gotta run through my list of people whom I owe Christmas gifts this year and what I'm going to get them. Oh and I've decided that I'm going to delete my MySpace because quite frankly it's pretty much useless for me now. I plan to do more things with my life and spend less time on Facebook playing Farmville haha. If only Christmas shopping was made easier, I don't even know who I have to buy presents for yet. I needa sit down and think this through. The rain is pouring outside so that officially makes it feel like the Winter for me. Goodnight, Merry Christmas.

OH YEA! I just got rims on my car. They look clean, I'll upload pics when I can.

Edit: Scratch that, I can't delete my MySpace..I used a fake email -_- oh well.

Discipline

2009-12-09T20:18:00.000-08:00

It feels like I make this list every month or so, maybe this time I'll follow through.
-I needa take better care of myself

get more sleep
eat healthier
get my body right
sharpen my mind

-I needa start saving some of this money that I'm making with so many hours at Michael's
-I have a goal to read one book every two weeks
-I need to improve my time management, desperately.
-I wanna play ball, so badly you don't even know.

All of these things are just basic things that I can improve with just one things, discipline. Discipline is a part of maturity, call me inspired by a friend to make these changes.

P.S. I need to also put together a book list of things I should read. Not really sure what to look for, but I need to get back in the habit of losing myself in a book. I'll be asking around for some recommendations.

Guilty Pleasure

2009-12-09T02:18:00.000-08:00

This man and his music>your favorite R&B artist. This for me is great study music so I have this album on repeat as I do work tonight.

This Ain't Luck..

2009-12-07T00:32:00.000-08:00

it's Natural

What up Kobe and you Laker fans out there? No luck involved here, just skill. You see that behind the back while being bodied up? Too legit, this is why he's so good.

Idontwannafuckeverygirlintheworld

2009-12-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

Maybe I'm the only straight guy in the world who doesn't like it when a girl is jockin' him. Maybe I'm the only guy who gets surprising half naked pics of a girl and is not happy about it. Maybe I'm the only guy who is turned off by a chick that will send him a half-naked picture without him asking for it, or even having spoke to her in over a month. It throws off the idea of dirty, slutty, whore. Then getting another picture from that girl when she's at work, how does she take a pic at work? The answer is she doesn't, she just has a bunch of pics saved on her phone. Again, slut. Girl, I been trying to tell you that I'm not interested, and no I will not send you a pic just because you felt like sending me one. No, I actually don't like your pictures and just because I'm looking at my phone around you I am NOT looking at your pictures. I'm not feeling you, get a life and stop buggin' me. You stupid slut, when I don't send you a pic back, when I don't reply that I miss you too, when I don't say your cute when you say I am, chances are I'm not feelin' you. Leave me alone, I'm trying to study.

Quote of the Day

2009-12-02T21:54:00.001-08:00

"You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it. - Charles Buxton"

New Kids on the Block

2009-11-28T00:51:00.000-08:00

Most of the new hires at Michael's are pretty cool. A few good looking girls, and a couple white dudes. More people to joke around with. It's going to make things all the more bearable. Things are looking up.

Busy Bee

2009-11-27T00:28:00.000-08:00

I just saw my work schedule for next week, and combined with the rest of this week's schedule, I can honestly say that I'm going to be one hell of a busy man. It's times like these when I wish I didn't procrastinate in school because with a hefty work schedule, and finals coming up there is going to be very little time to catch up on work that needs to be done by the end of the quarter. This is what I was waiting for though, isn't it? I like to put myself in positions where I HAVE to get things done, and I have to get them done quickly. Thanks to the added pressure, getting everything done will definitely result in a loss of sleep, which isn't ideal since I'm already lacking sleep. It's been one hell of a two week period and it's only going to get tougher from here on out. Holiday season at Michael's and finals week for Cal Poly coinciding at the same time definitely doesn't bode well for me. It's going to be like hell, and I'm sure that I'll look and feel like shit these next few weeks(even more so than I do now). It's time to man up and take on some responsibility, here's hoping I have it in me once again.

P.S. Music is going to become even more essential these next couple of weeks. It's times like these that my Ipod catches pretty much all of it's wear and tear.

Entourage

2009-11-26T10:56:00.000-08:00

Don't know why I haven't posted about this yet, Entourage is my most recent addiction. The clips are from season 6, but I've already seen all of season six, I really really cannot wait for season 7 to come out.

Reality Check

2009-11-24T21:16:00.000-08:00

So tonight while playing at a park I got sucker punched in the face. The story goes like this.

This fat Mexican guy named Jimmy has been talking shit all game. It doesn't really bother me except when he starts guarding me. The first time he guards me I do a couple crossovers and pass it to another guy for a jumpshot. Then the next time he guards me, I cross him over get by him and he throws his shoulder into me and knocks me down, he pretty much tackled me like we were playing football. I get angry and say "What the fuck man!" I throw the ball and it hits him. I didn't intentionally hit him with it, but obviously he though otherwise and says "don't ever do that, don't ever do that" and punches me as hard is he can to the left side of my face. I was sitting down on the ground not even looking at him and he punches me. What a bitch! I can't see straight now, my head is all messed up.

In the aftermath, he was still mad and wants to guard me. I put my hand out to shake his and be the bigger man and apologize. He just stares at me as I tell him I'm sorry and that I lost my cool. The guy shakes my hand and says, "don't ever do that again" what the fuck is that? You sucker punch me and you can't even step up and apologize and be a man. I apologized and I was hardly in the wrong. You were just as wrong as me. I guess I am the bigger man.

As I was trying to leave I left without my ball and realized my car alarm was on, when my alarm trigger doesn't even work. Meanwhile Justin, Ryan, and Sid are bringing my ball to me and asking me if I dropped my phone cause they found one on the ground. I tell them no because I'm sure I didn't although I don't bother to check. I unlock the car with the key since my alarm isn't working. The alarm goes off and we pop the hood trying to figure out how to turn off the alarm. Justin claimed he does it all the time however we couldn't find the alarm. I go to my trunk to look for a screwdriver and I try the alarm again and surprisingly it works. So I get in my car and drive home. When I get home I park on the side of the street to gather myself so that my family doesn't realize what happened, I start looking for my phone and I can't find it! Panicking I start the car and drive all the way back to Shadow Oak to see if Justin, Ryan, and Sid are still there. They weren't there anymore when I got there, and so I decided to drive to Justin's house to ask him what they did with it. I get to his house, and decide that before I go crazy to check my entire car. I open the trunk and there it is. So then I come home.

I really can't think straight right now, I don't know what's going on around me, and most of all I can't believe it actually happened. Everything is so foggy around me that it feels like it was a dream. My face hurts, not sure if it's gonna swell up or if I'm gonna have a black eye in the morning. I'ma spend the rest of the night in my room so as not to worry anyone. Luckily if I do have a black eye or something in the morning I leave for school before anyone's awake so I'll be able to do damage control. If this entire post doesn't make any sense or if words are mispelled or something i am sorry cause i still can't think straight.

In hindsight, I kinda had it coming though. I've been acting stupid lately and someone needed to put me in my place. I feel like I need a vacation from life right now. Tonight was one of the worst nights of my short life.

sigh..

2009-11-17T21:39:00.000-08:00

Not too much has been going my way lately. I've been kinda on edge lately, and for some reason I can't figure out why. Two altercations on the last two occasions playing ball(prior to today), me being in a bad mood, me not being happy, and me not being enthusiastic. What's wrong with me? I'm not really sure. I just haven't really been feeling too great lately. I mean I've lost a lot of hours at work lately which sucks because it seems like I'm too damn busy spending money left and right. I haven't been able to see a single basketball game on T.V. because my Dad hogs the only T.V. that has cable. I haven't been going to class as often as I should. I'm not doing any homework and allowing myself to fall behind. I can't even get back into working out. I haven't met "someone" in what seems like forever. And I feel like I'm just stuck in a minor rut. I haven't even felt the urge to get on here and blog about what's going on in my mind because quite frankly I've got nothing going on in my mind. I think I just might be a little sensitive right now seeing as all the little things are getting to me. I just feel like being alone a lot. At least basketball was fun again tonight, it hasn't been in quite some time. I do know that I shouldn't be bitching about the little things like this, but fuck it. That's one of my new montras..fuck it.

DAMN O_O

2009-11-11T15:03:00.000-08:00

SNL

2009-11-08T20:10:00.000-08:00

So funny and cute haha. But does anyone else find it weird that she's dating a dude with the same name as her? I mean how stupid awkward would it be for me to date a girl named Kraig? haha

TLC

2009-11-07T23:37:00.000-08:00

It's time to give myself some tender, love, and care hahaha. I have the next four days off and I'm pretty ecstatic about it. This gives me the opportunity to spend the next four days however I please. Hmm..so many choices. Oh and Baby Blue is back home, she looks like new. I don't get to drive her though, BUT at least I now have my own car. It seems quite promising. This world can be nice when you work hard and play by the rules.

A Friend..

2009-11-06T00:58:00.000-08:00

(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

Storytime

2009-11-06T00:32:00.001-08:00

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well, son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People.

“We’ll consider the nanny as the Working Class,” he went on. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.”

So the little boy goes to bed thinking about what dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”

The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.”

Paranormal

2009-11-02T06:46:00.000-08:00

I had this dream last night about me driving down a street, and passing a street sign that said Ghost Girl Drive. Then I looked to my left and saw a place called Ghost Girl Inn. I looked to my left and asked some guy "is there really a ghost girl?" and he said, "I don't know but this is as far as I go" and then he disappeared from inside the car. I'm like WTF then I look forward and see a Ghost Girl about 2 miles ahead of me. I start to scream, and as I get closer to her I close my eyes. Then I wake up, right before my alarm goes off, shit ain't right. haha

Hiatus

2009-10-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

I've gone missing from here for a while. Maybe it's that I haven't had much to say? Yea right, that's not like me, but quite frankly I haven't been feeling too much like myself lately. Not really sure why, but it seems I've been taking less passion in the things that I love. Sure I have been playing ball at every chance that I get, but I lack the same swagger that I normally have on the court. I haven't had a whole lot of vest, hell I've even let myself go physically. I haven't had a healthy meal in who knows how long and everyday I feel like crap, maybe more physically than mentally. I'm not really down on life right now, but I'm not really up either. I'm kinda off-kilter which is where I wanna be anyway. Not too high not too low. I haven't had all that much time to think either. With work, school, basketball, and sleep occupying pretty much all of my time I haven't been the usual "you'll find me deep in thought" Kraig that I usually am. I am enjoying the little things more than ever nowadays since I so rarely get to see them. Like spending time with friends on a rare day off, or grabbing lunch, or getting the chance to stare mindlessly at the television. I appreciate it all so much more now.

Crystal Clear

2009-10-28T00:12:00.001-07:00

"Procrastination is like masturbation. It feels good at first but in the end you're only screwing yourself" -Crystal

2009-10-25T12:03:00.001-07:00

Solidarity

2009-10-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

This is a brief moment of it solidarity. I've just been so busy lately, that I haven't had much time to sleep, relax, or even talk to anyone. I've had so many work shifts and so much school work and I grow weary of both. I just can't get a break from work or school right now. I have midterms this week and next and yet I'm getting more shifts at work than ever before. I close next Tuesday night which means I will miss the Lakers v. Clippers opening night game and I also close on Halloween which is a real downer. Work sucks, seriously, I really really hate working retail. So tired it's naptime for me, hopefully I get to play ball tonight.

Matt's Run

2009-10-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

Matt's Run was so much fun!! I finished in 30 minutes which is actually pretty damn good if u ask me. It was five minutes behind Jeff, but it's ok cause like last week he ran a half marathon lol. I got free stuff including a gym bag, t-shirt, and a coupon for free Chick-fil-A and Golden Spoon. I really wanna do it again next year and get a bunch of people to do it with us because it's really fun, and three miles really isn't that hard. I forgot to bring my camera but I do have a picture of my t-shirt and the lil' number they gave me. Irene would love my number haha.

I'ma Wreck

2009-10-16T23:28:00.000-07:00

Today was a fun day cause we played ball again. I've been playing really well, REALLY WELL. I've been feeling really confident and it's been showing in my game. I've been having a lot of fun out there and knocking everything down. My defense has really picked up as well. The only problem is that I played like 7 or 8 games in a row tonight and I cramped up in the last one. CRAMPED UP! I've NEVER ever cramped up in my entire life and I've been playing basketball since I can remember. It was an incredibly painful experience that I never want to feel again haha. I have Matt's Run to do tomorrow and I kinda don't wanna go cause I don't feel so hot right now. I'm still feeling sick and my legs are really tired. I guess it could be fun though, if worst comes to worst I'll just walk the three miles. I then have to work from 1:30 to 7:30 which frankly, is just no fun. Tomorrow has the potential to be a really long day. I can't believe that I have so much on my plate right now. I'm already full! I don't wanna eat anymore!...but my heart is telling me "what about the starving people in the Phillipines?". So I digress from thinking about my own pain and have to decided that I must go through with it. I can't be so selfish all the time and only think about my happiness. I'm so broke right now anyways so I definitely need the money and need to get paid. I'll see if I can get some pics from Matt's Run tomorrow and post them up here.

Too Hot

2009-10-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't been feelin' too hot the past couple of days, and it got worse today. My throat is scratchy and sore, the inside of my ear is hot, and my head is starting to burn up. Not a good sign, at all. It feels like I'm coming down with strep/a fever or maybe even H1N1 god forbid. It's coming at quite possibly the worst time too. This is because a few of my Mom's friends from far away are coming over tonight and throughout the week to stay at our house and visit her, but that's not just it. I work tomorrow morning at 5am, I have a TOM test friday morning along, I am going to run Matt's Run Saturday morning as well as work from 1:30 till closing Saturday as well. Not to mention that I would really LOVE to play ball Friday night. Next week I also have three closing shifts and a couple of tests if I'm not mistaken. I'm not really sure where this sickness came from but I've got to fight it if I want to be able to complete everything I have ahead of me. It's nice to have a full plate though.

This lil' guy is one cool kid. I call him D-Rock and he enjoys it. I love this kid.

Let's see how these next couple of weeks pan out, they can make me or break me. I won't let them break me though. I do all of this so that I grow towards a better life. I am DEFINITELY gonna be on my grind these next couple of weeks, and sickness or not nothing is gonna stop me. Wish me luck.

2009-10-12T07:56:00.001-07:00

QuotetheDay: No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted. - Aesop

Forbidden

2009-10-11T22:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not allowed to be weak, or show any weakness. It's not okay, I won't allow it. The people around me need not see it, it's not what they need from me. I won't show it, you're the only one I can share it with blog. That's why I love you. I'll hate myself when I read this post later, being weak. Looking for acceptance, acknowledgment, I know I'll look at myself as foolish and weak for this later, but now it feels so good to get it out.

Joke Lang

2009-10-11T22:33:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been on a roll with jokes, especially going back to Friday talkin' to Jeremiah and his boy. Although those were kinda in the moment, go along with the conversations funny things, these were funny too.

"I am nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am PERFECT"

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga?"
"You Poke her face"

As Promised...

2009-10-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

I'm back with something to say.

First off let me start by saying fuck you. So many of you. What the fuck does it take for me to get some respect in this world?? Seriously, I do everything you ask me to do, I'm ALWAYS fucking there for you, I do everything and ask nothing in return but a little respect and acknowledgment and I get neither. How would your life function without me? How would you get through your shit without me? Who would be there to do all the things I do for you without me? I guess we'll see won't we when I'm not there anymore.

Secondly, who the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that? Making it sound like my voice carries no weight, fool you don't know me. You don't the shit that I go through everyday. You have no right to fucking disrespect me when I am everything that you wish you could be. You have no right to disrespect me and act like you're better than me, when I have to clean up after you're fat ass 7 days a week 365 days a year. Who the fuck makes you smarter than me? Or have a better opinion than me? I'm sick of you disrespecting me when every day you ask for my opinion on some shit that doesn't matter. And why do you constantly mimick everything I say back to other people and say that you came up with it when just 5 minutes ago I was the one that said it? And yet still disrespect me and act like my opinion isn't worth a damn thing when I know that you'll just repeat it back to someone to get they're acknowledgment of a good idea. FUCK YOU! Stop trying to degrade me, or put me below you by making some disrespectful comments about where I work, or my financial state when you are in no place to speak. I've held 3 jobs already and you've only had one. I got my first job my Junior year of high school, you, you got your first job when you were a sophomore in college(where I am now) and you didn't even get it for yourself, your mom did. You have your own car, sure, but your 24 years old still living at home, never had a girlfriend, and has no real friends. You claim my friends as your friends and make me let you come hangout with us sometimes, but yet when giving the chance you try to make ME look like a fool?? FUCK YOU! Stop trying to make my life come down to the level that yours is at, I'm not gonna let that happen. So although you have finally upset me, you won't know that I'm angry because that will only help solidify the fact that you have worked towards your goal.

2009-10-10T23:34:00.001-07:00

I'm coming to you tonight blog, and i got something good to say

2009-10-07T09:32:00.001-07:00

My imagination is one crazy ass thing. Daydreamin an class all these crazy ass stories where i win over some girl by doing something heroic lol

Good Luck

2009-10-06T00:21:00.001-07:00

So see here, I have this funny theory. It was inspired a bit by the movie Good Luck Chuck, it kind of made me look at my life. Check this, I know it sounds crazy and it could just be a coincidence BUT it's definitely worth noting that every girl that I've ever dated has found "love" with the very next guy that came along to them.

Case #1
Amelia-So I guess we really didn't date, but we said we did. Whatever the case though, as soon as I was "out of her hair" she almost immediately met Marlon, her now boyfriend. Sure it wasn't perfect cause they broke up somewhere between then and now, but now they're extremely happy and she seems to be in love since well she made her entire life pretty much about him.

Case #2
Marisol-Everyone knows the story here. I broke up with her. She met her man on myspace and started talking to him. Next thing you know they're in love and engaged. No explanation needed.

Case #3
Alyssa-She always had a topsy-turvy relationship with her man Gino, and well maybe it just took a short stint being with me to make her realize that she wanted to be with Gino. Right after the fun times she was back with him and still his today, and I get no more calls about there being trouble in paradise LOL.

Case #4
Sunshine-Apparently she moved on just as fast as I did from her, haha. She's now dating a guy who she says to like very much, and they're happy.

Case #5
Laura-While we had our fun, she has moved on to someone that she calls baby. I only know through her status updates and all that, but in person she seems to be happier than ever.

It isn't exactly the same as Good Luck Chuck where everytime he sleeps with a girl she ends up marrying the next guy that she dates. It's not quite that magnitude because frankly we're too young for all that. But maybe, just maybe being with me helps them to find what they're looking for in the next guy. Maybe, spending time around me helps them to realize the value of a man that does things the right way and takes care of them. Maybe, experimenting with me teaches them that they don't want what I have to offer. Maybe, they get the taste of a different type of guy that just doesn't appeal to them. Maybe, they just scoop up the first guy that will put in a ton of effort into the relationship. Whatever it is, all I know is that it seems all too often that girls that have dated me have moved on to find happiness immediately after me. Sure, it could just be a coincidence and I may just be reading into things to much. Or maybe I'm supposed to realize this so that I can figure out that I've been doing things all wrong for too long. Or maybe, I'm just supposed to be alone. Who knows. Only time will tell, I figure it's just something to ponder.

Where'd You Go

2009-10-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

Well I spent the weekend in Mo Val with the cousins and Aimee came over. It was the first time we'd seen her in I don't know how many years. It was fun. I've been captivated recently by the hype about the move "Paranormal Activity" I mean even the previews have got me a lil freaked out.

I've also been listening to the "Brand New Eyes" album by Paramore. I'm an undercover Parawhore haha..

Paramore - New Music - More Music Videos

Other than that I've just been busy with school and other things. This week is gonna be pretty busy so I probably won't be able to blog much. I close tomorrow night, wednesday night, and thursday night. Add to that the plan to go see "Paranormal Activity" in Hollywood Friday night, it looks like I've got a full plate on me for the week. Let's hope I survive haha

I'm Still Young

2009-10-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

"85% of all the money you will ever make in your life, will be made by the time you turn 37"

Aliens

2009-10-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

Are real. I believe it. Cause I see some everyday.

I've been thinking a lot lately(which isn't uncommon for me) and I've realized that I'm very complex and hard to please. Not many people understand me, even when I understand them. As of late if been the "shoulder to cry on" on more than one occasion, and it's really got me realizing that nothing makes me feel better than to help people. I love helping people feel better about themselves, and helping people look at their situation in a whole new light. It makes me feel good about myself, maybe I shoulda studied psychology or some crap like that haha.

Catching up with an old friend reminds you of the good times but also helps you see how far you've come, why you have grown away from some others, and why you may soon have to leave others. Life isn't friendly to many, and I guess sometimes things can have you wondering if karma really does exist. If karma did exist than why is it that

"nice guys finish last"

Yes it's true, we always do. But if karma was real shouldn't the nice guy eventually win in the end? That's how it should work right? Ehh, I'm still a believer in it which is why I will to continue to be the nice guy I am. Someone please understand me and stop trying to change me, I'll only change if the change is necessary to improve me. I'm focused on bettering myself at this point in my life so I will only get better from here on out.

October's Own

2009-10-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

Fall quarter has started off without a glitch aside from the usual fatigue that comes with having to wake up early to go to school after staying up late the entire summer. I'm working my way to the 4.0 GPA that I planned this quarter. I'm getting my homework done and doing well so far. I just have to maintain it. Although September wasn't the greatest month, I did learn from it and am ready to make October the best month of this year so far. It's been well documented that I have an interest in doing things for a good cause. I plan to do so this month as well by donating to Matt's Run, donating to help the survivors of Typhoon Ondoy in the Phillipines, and by wearing my pink wristband to support Breast Cancer Awareness.

I have always supported breast cancer awareness, but prior to last year had never been impacted by it. Late last year when Uncle Boy was diagnosed with early stages of breast cancer it came as a shock to me and my entire family. Luckily they caught it early enough and were able to surgically remove the cancerous part of his breast. Now as I grow older I realize that supporting a cause is worth your while, and that it isn't worth it to half ass it. Half-assing it is just as bad as doing nothing at all. I need to get around to signing up for Matt's Run sometime soon haha.

You're Confusing That's Why...

2009-09-29T22:47:00.000-07:00

"u have a good way of making people think a certain way then change it completely in a second lol"

-I guess I'm confusing? I don't confuse you, do I blog?

Goals

2009-09-27T23:58:00.000-07:00

-Get a 4.0 GPA this fall quarter
-Don't procrastinate
-Don't throw time away that could be used to sleep
-Improve Time Management
-Get homework done in a timely fashion so I can still play ball
-Eat healthier
-Start getting ready for Matt's Run
-More responsible
-Go to Church more often
-Floss nightly(my dentist would be so proud if i could do this lol)
-Find time to workout in my busy schedule
-Job search/internship search..need to find an internship soon
-SAVE MONEY!
-Keep posting reguarly here without interfering with school
-Keep my room relatively clean haha
-Find time for others in my life
....more to come

Superstar Status

2009-09-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

Haha okay, not really lol. But today was the All-Star game for my St. Lorenzo Ruiz Basketball league. It was a close game all the way through, and we (the Western Conference) were behind for pretty much the entire game until one point in the fourth quarter where we over took them. I was terrible in the first half and wasn't all into the game at all despite starting. In the second half I picked it up defensively and was dominating on the boards getting a bunch of clean up points. I had a few steals and a couple of blocks and made myself a defensive presence. So much so in fact that my mom and dad who came to watch the game said that they thought it was funny how people would lose the ball when I was around without me even doing anything. I guess I can be intimidating haha. So here's the story of my moment...

Our leading scorer just missed the front end of a 1 and 1 that could have put the East away. The East got the rebound and called time out. They were inbounding from the sideline down by two points with 12 seconds left in the game. Obviously it's crunch time. I decide to guard the inbounder, so I'm jumping up and down and I'm on my toes. I know exactly where he wants to go with the ball; I jump up and take the pass with my left hand. I head the other way and they fould me to put me at the free throw line for a 1 and 1. I'm standing there, at the free throw line knowing that I gotta make these to put the East away. I calmly sink the first free throw after taking three dribbles and a deep breath. I then take another three dribbles and a deep breath and sink the second one also. I came thru in the clutch and iced the game that's why I got the nickname back in the day. Pics? of course.

Anyone Remember These?

2009-09-26T22:06:00.000-07:00

These "Choose Your Own Adventure" books? Where after each chapter or so you are given the choice of two or three things that you think your character should do, and are taken there? These books were the shit back in the day. I remember going to the school library and borrowing one if I hadn't read it before. Such a clever idea, they needa bring these things back.

Before I Bid You Adoo

2009-09-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

do this one thing for me...

please Summer don't ever forget me. This Summer flew by a bit too quickly maybe. There were times when I absolutely loved this Summer. I mean I spent most of the summer playing ball. That's the way that I love to spend my summers. Although I wish my played ball with me more this summer, I grew to become friends with random people at the park and made friends at my church through my church league. I got a new job(which I already can't stand) and well I threw most of my money away buying food. In hindsight I wish I spent more time getting my body healthy cause that will only make me better at playing ball and whatnot, I probably should have learned to cook more this summer(healthy food). I feel like this is a wasted summer though because I didn't take any real steps towards independence unfortunately. I'm progressing slowly, too slowly for my liking. School is waiting for me tomorrow morning, but before I bid Summer adoo, I would like to say thank you for being an active one. I plan to make sure I lead an active and healthy life style, cause let's face it, healthy people are happy people.

My Final note about summer: Thank you Cal Poly for setting up that free concert with Murs. He was amazing. He performed all the good stuff: Dark Skinned White Girl, Bad Man, Freak These Tales, Silly Girl, L.A., and Me and This Jawn just to name a few. He was an amazing performer too. Goodbye staying up late on the phone, or watching movies. Hello staying up late doing homework, reading books, and studying. I'm ready for you Fall Quarter, show me what you got.

in search of..

2009-09-23T01:33:00.000-07:00

fame, fortune, power, success, material things. In the end none of it matters, we all go to one of two places when we die regardless if we're rich, famous, and popular or a family man in a small town, we are all equals once you look past money, vanity, and stereotypes. Why does money matter so much to us, when it's just something the human race made up to keep each other at bay? Fuck it, I don't need money, material things, or any of that shit to make me happy. While we spend so much effort trying to obtain those things it's always overlooked that,

"the hardest thing in this world to make your own, is yourself. Finding yourself is a much more difficult journey than making a million dollars. Emotional obstacles wear you down deep to the core and not just the outside. Once you find yourself, never allow anything or anyone to deter you from who you are and what makes you happy."

We can't all be movie stars and actors and musicians. It wouldn't make no damn sense, it already makes no sense that some of us believe our lives are the same as the people on these "reality" TV, shows. The difference is, when they act a fool and act irresponsibly they ruin their chances on the TV, when we act a fool we ruin our lives. If we all try to be rich and famous entertainers

"soon there will be no audience, just a bunch of monkey on stage dancing."
-Shihan

Life isn't a movie. Although I preach the idea of being happy and forgoing riches if it means making your life more comfortable for you, I can't promise you that if you give up that 6 figure job you'll end up with the girl of your dreams who put you in the friend zone years ago. Why? Cause life isn't a movie, it's real life. Even when we do the right thing, thing's may not end up picture perfect. I know that as long as I keep a level headed and keep myself grounded I will be happy with my life.

P.S. A girl with no intellectual depth will never be attractive to me. I don't care if you offer me the most physical pleasure in the world if we can't get on the same level intellectually and have a conversation, then I'm out. Get on my level. Any relationship I have I want to grow from, intellectually maybe more so than anything. Make me see things in ways I've never seen them before, is that too much to ask?

Almost Forgot

2009-09-20T23:03:00.001-07:00

I played ball at Shadow Oak again tonight. I've really been in a zone lately. I couldn't make a jumper to save my life today, but I still dominated by driving to the hoop every time and scoring at will. Not to mention getting tons of swats and steals. My game is really improving. We had a 6 game winning streak and even got a 7-0 skunk victory which I've NEVER done before. Good night at Shadow Oak, I'm glad I was able to get to play again. Basketball <3

Done

2009-09-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

-I'm done trying so hard.
-I'm done getting denied.
-I'm done pushing others.
-I'm done getting pushed away.
-I'm done jumping through hoops.
-I'm sick of being the good guy
-I'm sick of taking the back seat
-I'm sick of feeling like I'm being an inconvenience
-I'm sick of being forgotten
-I'm sick of being overlooked
-I'm sick of being a last resort
-I'm sick of caring what other people think
-I'm done trying to please anyone other than me.
-I don't care if my life isn't what you think it should be, i don't care if you think I should be someone other than I am, bite me.
-I'm now done ranting.

I Am Happy..

2009-09-20T00:53:00.000-07:00

"that's just the saddest lie"

haha Soundtrack to my life-Kid Cudi. I love that song. It describes how I feel about my job right now, it's so damn frustrating. I get no hours, and even when I do get a shift to go in and work I get sent home early. It's all because the store is in the red in profits and can't afford to pay us to work. Basically the situation is that I get no hours=no money=BAD. I'm going broke and need to make some damn money, but since I can't make any money at Michaels right now I definitely need to keep looking around for a new job. I mean sure it's nice to have so much time off, but I need to make money, period. I'm thankful that I do have a job for now, but one should never settle especially when there are bigger and better things out there.

I saw "I Love You, Man" for the third time today, and it's gotta be one of the funniest movies out there. Although the main character Peter is kinda annoying sometimes it's pretty damn hilarious. I personally love man dates, pause. Fuck it, haha. Sydney is such a trip in that movie lol, I pray though that I don't end up quite like him haha.

P.S. Jack in the Box "Hearty Bowls" are cracktastic. I ate like a fatty today, a hearty bowl and french toast sticks for breakfast and super fries for dinner. It's a good thing I hit the gym today and worked my abs too haha.

P.S.S. Customers are so demanding.

P.S.S.S. I'm super tired, but I so badly want to play basketball. I won't be able to again though until Monday or Tuesday though. Actually no I work Tuesday night(well at least I'm scheduled to). Basketball is the only thing I can afford to do right now lol.

It's Official

2009-09-20T00:39:00.000-07:00

Today is Mikey's birthday. Happy Birthday fam, you got a blog shoutout along with the Twitter barrage #happybirthdaymike.

Answer the Call

2009-09-18T12:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at work I remembered how nice people can really be sometimes. I was lucky enough to help three different ladies carry their purchases to their cars, whether it was because one of them was on crutches, or they couldn't carry the 6 foot tree they just bought, or they just bought so much that they wouldn't be able to carry it all by themselves, I helped them to their car. I then realized that despite how jaded the world has become, with most everyone taking on the idea that everyone else should cater to them as their duty, there are still people out there who are nice people and not just out of common courtesy. The world isn't really as bad as we think it is, it really is filled with nice people amidst all the other jerks.

1 Question

2009-09-17T14:49:00.000-07:00

"what does it feel like to wake up everyday and be
amazing?"

Stayin' Fresh

2009-09-17T00:41:00.000-07:00

So as I hope you guys have noticed there is a new look to the blog once again. Please feel free to let me know what you think of it, I've been tinkering around here and there with the blog trying to make it look nice and I've struggled. I kinda like how it looks right now. My man Manny P in the banner haha. I'm pretty proud of the banner, umm. That's all I've really got for now, except I keep fiddling with how many posts should appear on the home page I just can't find the right number. I've been trying to take a lot more pictures nowadays just so I can better document things. Uhh I've been having trouble sleeping through the night lately, I'm not particularly sure why, find myself half asleep half awake all the time and when I finally decide to get up I don't feel rested at all. I sleep much better when I take a nap during the day, not healthy I know. My sleeping patterns are a bit wacky because of all the naps I take, I gotta fix that. Oh and for a while now I've really started to grow fond of watching the UFC, it kinda makes me feel like a man. A lotta things have made me feel that way lately, I've realized that I like to do things a lot of guys to do like working out, playing ball, watching UFC, watching sports, etc. Hell it seems like I'm becoming a "regular" guy, but that's never going to completely happen, you see I'm Kraig, and I don't fit in to the "regular" guy stereotype. Not now, not ever. That is all for now.

Maybe I'm Insecure...

2009-09-15T23:21:00.001-07:00

I mean I LOVE challenges, but would my ego really be able to cope with being the worst player on my own team?? You're probably wondering what this is stemming from. Well, Jeff, Justin, and I have been talking about playing in a 6 foot and under league in pacrim. They keep talking about who we should pick up and honestly all of the guys we are talking about picking up are REALLY good. I'm not saying that I want to be the best player or arguably the best player on the team cause we have all seen how that turns out(Ice Water, Lights Out) but I just think that I'll struggle with the idea of being the worst player on the team again. I mean growing up I was always the worst player on a really good team, and mind you it was nice to win so often, but it wasn't quite as fulfilling as getting a win when you played an intricate roll in it. Despite having so much fun when I play with them I'm still a bit worried that I might be the worst player on the team cause frankly my style of play is a bit different than everyone else's. Maybe I'm just paranoid, I mean hell I might not even be worse than Jeff, but I really can lose confidence in my game just that quickly. I need to start working harder on my athleticism because that is something I feel I lack with the rest of the guys. I don't wanna be the slowest guy on the team either, damn so many insecurities. haha, but it's worth noting that..

"if the possibility of something happening, excites you so much that you can't
sleep at night, then it's totally worth taking the chance at making it a
reality. Win, lose, or draw at least you won't be left wondering..what if?"

so even though I'm scared that I might not play a huge role it's still worth doing for nothing less than the experience. Let's hope we actually follow through with this.

P.S. I REALLY want Jinza lol.

Nothing...

2009-09-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

"worth having, comes easy"

Horoscopes

2009-09-15T02:09:00.001-07:00

Anyone else notice how they always seem to fit so well into what actually happens that day? Is it because they are so general that they can relate to everyone's day, or is just that we find ways to make them relate to the day we had? Is it only our own belief that makes them feel so real and accurate? Why do we need affirmation that our day is going to be a good one when so much of it is under our control? Why do we not trust our hearts and minds when it comes to love but believe what a horoscope tells us? Why, despite my optimism do I so badly want to go to a fortune teller and hear what they have to tell me? Is it all because we are scared of the future and will accept any form of glimpse into it so as to better prepare ourselves for it? We should trust that we have taken the necessary steps to be ready for what each day, each obstacle, each new love has to throw at us. We aren't all so different, you know? There really isn't much that separates the happy from the sad, except our own personal outlook on daily life. Be positive and things will go well, be hesitant, apprehensive, and scared and things will always seem more overwhelming than they really are. A deep breath will help slow everything down, use them as you wish, there is no limit to this bargain. Breathe, it all get's better and easier.

=)

2009-09-15T02:02:00.000-07:00

"Ur like superr attractive hehe"

-Laura

This text made me smile, how could you not smile if someone tells you this?

Realizations Pt. 1

2009-09-15T01:40:00.000-07:00

-Confidence in one area of your life always finds a way to spill over to other parts of your life
-Only at times where we have nothing, do we find the true value of what will always be there
-Ego's are something that can't be held down for long
-Dating is about being someone else until they trust you enough to get to know the real you. lol
-The right choice is almost always the choice that you don't want to make
-Making a habit of doing the right thing will lead to a better life
-Mistakes and bad choices are only worth a damn if you learn from them.
-No one likes being alone, but it's what you do when you're alone that builds character
-Confidence is attractive
-Keeping yourself happy is more important than keeping others happy.
-Being true to others is easy, being true to yourself is the hardest thing in the world
-Choose your friends, don't let them choose you
-Do nothing at your own shigrin, if it doesn't make you happy don't do it
-Asking for help is okay, do it when you need help
-Life is too short to spend any time being jealous
-Selfishness will only leave you alone and miserable
-A moment of happiness isn't worth a lifetime of misery
-Your personal health is in your own hands, listen to your body, you only have one.Sleep when you're tired, only eat when you're hungry, and keep your body strong. You control your health, not anyone else.
-Money isn't a tool to purchasing things with, rather it's a tool to teach us the value of responsibility
-Style is being comfortable with yourself and making your wardrobe look good
-Compliments are the best thing anyone can receive, give them out graciously to brighten the days of others
-Care for all other people while asking for nothing in return, it's the most rewarding thing you can do
-Appreciate everyone in your life while they are still here, don't wait for them to be gone to appreciate them.
-Immerse yourself in all the things this world has to offer, take nothing for granted, the good and the bad experience it all.

More to come....

We Gonna Party Like It's Your Birthday

2009-09-14T23:28:00.000-07:00

you know that we don't give a fuck it ain't your birthday.

Yesterday was the congregation of friends that was brought together to celebrate Mikey's bday. We tried to hit up the Boiling Crab but we couldn't stand to wait for an two damn hours just to eat. Fuck that straight up so we decided to hit up Noodle World which was right next door anyway haha. I ate some Pad Thai, which was pretty baller, but as usual I couldn't finish. The 14 person table was funny, so loud, so entertaining hahah. I had Rachel, Justin, Alexa, and Kristine at my lil' mini table. After dinner Me, Justin, and Ameen made a small cake run (when I say a small cake I mean SMALL LOL) while Rachel kept everyone content with the idea that the three of us just went to the restroom together(for like 20 minutes)lol. It turned out pretty well when we brought back the cake to Noodle World and set it up outside for Mikey(although Ameen almost wrote Mickey not Mikey on the cake). Here's a nice little picture of Mikey's tiny birthday cake.

(photo credit: Joshua Estrada aka @JRDNJAM, stolen from his twitpic, haha)

It was a good night that I personally spent re-connecting with Rachel. We celebrated Mikey just his style and that was what was important. Good night all in all.

Today however wasn't quite as nice, I spent all day getting tired lol. I took the recycling and the leftover parts from the workout machine outside of my house to the recycling place. Then went to that International Food Supermarket, which was pretty dope cause I got some snacks, fruit, and thai tea. Then hit up Joghurt, just cause I was in the area. I then went to the gym and lifted weight, which was great. I did all of this while the power was out. For the rest of the day that the power was out, I just sat around outside with my dad and talked about his old stories from the military and old memories from animals from Tucson. Not a bad day but I am getting sick of all these damn power outages.

P.S. I meant to post this picture a while ago, Mikey wrote this on my car after the perspiration left the car moist on...Wednesday night I think.

Failed once,

2009-09-14T23:20:00.000-07:00

but I damn sure ain't gonna fail twice. haha

I tried to post this blog the other day via text, but it looked all spazztic and like a thing outta the movie signs lol. Saturday night I went to the L.A. County Fair after getting off of work. It was an extremely different feeling there for recreation as opposed for work, and it was pretty enjoyable. I was there on some double date type steeze that was awkward at first cause really, i've never been on a double date before and I didn't know either one of the other two people there, like shit I don't even like people and I spent hours at the fair with 3 people I hardly know. They were pretty cool though and I had fun, despite the cost of the fair. Shit I ran up about a 60 dollar tab at that joint, which is not a good look when I'm tryna be a budget baller these days. The highlight of the trip was seriously this monstrosity of a funnel cake that we got.

Enshrined

2009-09-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

Today was the day when the G.O.A.T. Michael Jordan was enshrined into the Basketball Hall of Fame, along with him the great center of the San Antonio Spurs David Robinson, one of the greatest point guards ever John Stockton, long-time Utah Jazz coach Jerry Sloan, and a woman's college basketball coach C. Vivian Stringer. Now I could sit here and make this entire post a tribute to these great basketball players who I had the opportunity to watch as I grew up, but there really isn't any need for that. I don't think I need to explain to anyone how great these players were, BUT I would like to take this time to pay tribute to my FIRST EVER favorite basketball player.

Sean Elliott

For those who don't know him, Sean Elliot was a 6'8" Small Forward who in the prime of his career was a very good defender and had a knack for coming up with big momentum swinging slam dunks. Most people my age would remember him more for what he became at the back end of his career (while fighting a kidney disease) which was a good defender and a guy who was money from the corner three pointer (kinda like Bruce Bowen but less people hated Elliott). Why did I like Elliott so much? It was in part because he was a very good player who came from the University of Arizona which is the college basketball team I grew up watching. It was also because he was a terrific player who focused on defense and still had the ability to score and make an impact on the game. Elliott did make two all-star teams in 1993 and 1996. He was kind of the glue that held those Spurs teams together. I modeled my game after him, another thing that I loved is that he didn't take shit from anyone, but didn't feel the need to trash talk or get cocky despite his skill. I love guys like that who go out and get the job done without any added cockiness.

P.S. Today was another great day today at Shadow Oak for me. This time Mikey and Justin were there too (and so was the other really good Justin haha) so I wasn't a lone ranger. My shot was money and I felt great physically. That's what playing well comes down too, feeling great and alert and trusting that your body and muscle memory will allow you to make every shot. Some days you feel like crap out there but lately I've been feeling great. I have a secret that I think is helping me feel better every day alongside working out and eating a little better. I want to post what it is, but I don't want anyone stealing my secret and I don't wanna jinx it haha. I work tomorrow and that's all I really know haha. I needa make sure I get to the gym sometime tomorrow as well.

Diversity

2009-09-10T22:47:00.000-07:00

I been thinkin' and I've realized why I'm into the type of girls I am. I like to explore girls who are different. Every girl I have ever dated has been completely different than the last ones. I'm not looking for perfection I'm looking for diversity. I like to see what different types of girls like to do for fun. I find it interesting to date girls of all races, backgrounds, and interests. I mean why not really right? We only live once, what would be the point in me only dating Filipino girls? Why not explore the horizons and see what other people live like. Maybe one of the reasons why I don't like to date Filipino girls is that they're life so closely resembles mine. I like the fact that when I hang out with a girl I can experience things I wouldn't have done without her, know what I mean? I live my life everyday why would I enjoy living the same type of life when I'm with her? Dating a Filipino girl doesn't give me a whole lot of flexibility and doesn't necessarily offer me something different than I go through everyday; her family parties are the same as mine, her mom's cooking is pretty much the same as mine, her uncles are similar to mine, her family is similar to mine, why would I want that? It's nice to experience different things and different worlds. Maybe that's why I've been interested in girls of different races so often lately, you can't blame me can you?

P.S. Aside from that I pray that all the girls I date can cook, just because it makes my life so much easier haha. I'm listening to Soundtrack 2 My Life by Kid Cudi, great song.

P.S.S. It looks like I'll have to update that crush list pretty soon. I think I'm gonna make a rule for the crush list, I won't add anyone until there is closure to the situation, because well everyone loves closure right?

P.S.S.S. I'm in desperate need of a haircut but I haven't gotten paid yet so I can't afford it. I needa spend less money on food.

Lone Ranger

2009-09-10T02:07:00.000-07:00

I hit up Shadow Oak today all by myself after I had a rough day. Gettin' blown off twice in one day is no fun. What was fun was playing ball at Shadow Oak. Normally I don't like going by myself cause I don't like the feeling of not knowing anyone, but I had a great time and played out of my mind. I feel great, I think I'll possibly walk to the gym tomorrow to get in my workout. Looks like I'm gonna have to play Hans in some bball cause he's supposed to have gotten better. Uhh not much to say here although I've learned that I don't mind going to the park by myself. I'm so tired I can't even think so I'll post again later today since it's already 2 in the morning.

Blast From the Past

2009-09-08T00:38:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I'm gonna try to hit up the gym again with Jeff just like old times. I have my gym membership until October in which case it will finally be cancelled. It's unfortunate really that financial issues have to come in between me and keeping up with going to the gym regularly. Working out is a great outlet for me especially when it's too hot to play ball or I can't get anyone to play ball with me. I mean hell I miss going to the gym at like 10 o'clock at night just to bench, and sure I'm not the strongest dude in there but it allows me to get out aggression. I wish I had a steady job or managed my money better so I would be able to renew my gym membership, but I can't put myself in that kind of financial hole. I wish that someone, anyone would cop me a one year pass to 24 or something like that for xmas/my birthday. My mom kept trying to push my Dad to get us all gym memberships before things in our life started to go haywire and we were left in the financial state that we're in. Sometimes shit like this just really happens in life though...so I'll just sing a little song...LA LA LA LA WAIT TILL I GET MY MONEY RIGHT.

Life may not always go the way you want it to, but all we can do is stay positive and look at the good things that are happening. Everything seems to be looking up, well for the most part. I need to stop spending money though, fuck but I REALLY wanna go to the fair. Why do so many things cost money? I wish I could still ask my parents for money when I felt like doing something haha. Oh well, I get paid Thursday(finally)and that should help fill the void for what has gone missing. Getting paid a good 4 dollars less an hour really sucks. I guess I was spoiled.

P.S. I guess it all goes to show that all decisions made out of haste or anger aren't necessarily the decisions that we would have wanted in the long run.

LOL

2009-09-06T20:45:00.001-07:00

Back to the Beginning

2009-09-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

So really, what happened to Thaiteatheory.blogspot.com. It's where we all got started and we haven't posted anything there in 8 months? I am pleased to say however that we have become much better bloggers(if there even is such a thing) since thaiteatheory.blogspot.com. Everyone has to start somewhere right? Ahhh well, I guess things just keep movin on whether we want them too or not.

Get that Pic-a-nic Basket Boo-boo

2009-09-05T22:16:00.001-07:00

Haha yea well today I spent pretty much all day at Creekside Park for a family picnic. It was pretty chill, I mean we ate as usual and then played some volleyball in the sand barefooted and played some catch. I even got a chance to chill on the swings so I mean spending time with family can be boring at times, but it's always a good way to wind down and relax.

Yesterday was quite an interesting day though cause thanks to Bryan Bowen calling me and let me know that Cuttino Mobley, Derrick Coleman, Lamond Murray, and Ryan Hollins were playing ball at Cameron Park. I mean what are the chances of 4 NBA players playing at your local gym especially when it's in West Covina, CA. It's been one hell of a topsy turvy week, with so many exciting things happening everyday. I mean this week was about bowling, Mikey's house, Denny's, Cameron Park, getting rides from Mikey, meeting someone nice, Inglorious Basterds, and just spending time with good company. Unfortunately, tomorrow is the start of a new week and all good things come to an end. That's not to say that next week won't be great as well but it doesn't seem too promising tomorrow since I gotta work a wonderful 8 hour shift. Hopefully I'll find some way of getting to the fair sometime in the month it's open just to roam my old stomping grounds.

And now picks of the only 4 NBA players I've ever seen in person including Cuttino Mobley the only one I've met(kinda).

Cuttino Mobley:

Derrick Coleman:

Lamond Murray:

Ryan Hollins:

All these dudes are huge..pause..so I have new motivation to work out and practice. I mean to be really good you gotta work really hard.

Chances

2009-09-04T10:34:00.000-07:00

One of my biggest personality flaws is that sometimes I think things through too much. I pass up opportunities that could quite possibly make me happy because of reasons I come up with in my mind to tell myself it won't work. I'm my own worst enemy. I keep myself from happiness by thinking things through too much and talking myself out of nearly everything. It effects me in every part of my life. Whether it's girls, friends, hell I even give myself dumbass reasons not to work out when I should. Fuck the heat I can go work out right now, which is what I'm about to do. I'm my own worst enemy, I need to stop talking myself out of everything and just go out and do it. No one gets anywhere in life without taking chances, I'm a firm believer that taking some chances is a good thing. I don't really think that great things come to those who wait necessarily, I think that patience in situations is a great idea, but doing nothing will get you nowhere. Which is why, despite it being warm outside I'm still gonna go run. I need to get off of my ass everyday and stop talking myself out of bettering myself. So whether this (sticky?) situation turns out good or bad I think it might be a chance worth taking. Even if I don't fully go for it, it's still nice to see where it's gonna go.

P.S. Bowling yesterday was fun. I started to put spin on the ball so I regressed a bit cause I'm just getting used to it, but I think that I'm gonna get pretty good if I keep at it. Fun night last night with Mikey, Dube, Mel, Josh and Jay. Oh how I miss nights like that hitting up Denny's and making fun of everyone. Dube is one hilarious dude, "PIPED!" "Was that disrespectful? FUCK YOU!" haha

P.S.S. I really needa ball soon. It's been way too long.

I Choose You,

2009-09-02T00:35:00.001-07:00

HAHAHAHA! I had fun with this. Click on it for the full size LOL. oh I just wanted to write down somewhere that Josh Cambe stopped by my Michaels today that makes 3 people I know that have come thru my Michaels while I was at work: him, Monica Solis, and Danee Berumen haha. Interesting? Probably not but I wanted to remember haha

The Good Old Days

2009-09-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

You know as much as we all resent I-Poly we never had as much fun as we did at I-Poly, I mean who doesn't love reminiscing about the good times we had there. From the days balling all freshman year, to countless memories from groupwork, laughing at DIRRKK, being gay, messing with teachers, and just all those innocent times we spent just having pointless fun I can't help but miss it sometimes. Now I know why so many Military Veterans love talking about that time in their lives, it may have been the most fun they had in their entire life and other people can relate to it because they were there with them. I feel like no matter what I'll talk about my high school days with old friends forever. I also think that high school friends that I stay close with will be my best friends forever no matter what new ones I make. The bond is just so strong because we somewhat grew up together through stupid high school cliques, and societies stupid expectations, to adventuring when we first get our licenses, to spending the first times of our lives with real interest in girls we've all just been through so much together that we'll always be friends no matter how far apart we grow. Tonight reminds me of all those nights spent during high school were I did nothing but talk to friends online and listen to music all night, I still love nights like this. I'm always gonna miss those days when we were young and didn't have to worry about anything but some really easy math homework that we could just copy off of someone the next day haha. Oh and I'm not gonna lie it bugs me how in every picture from graduation my cap is on crooked LOL

Powerless

2009-08-31T21:56:00.000-07:00

A lot has been happening since I last posted here. On Thursday morning the power went out in my ENTIRE neighborhood and it was out until late Saturday night. Because of that I spent all of Friday out with Mikey in Glendale/Eagle Rock area which was extremely nice to get out of the house with no electricity. Saturday after work I got a new phone that Crystal hooked me up with. My entire family got new phones and Crystal saved us over a grand on the four phones so I can't thank her enough. I also got my last check from the Boy Scouts that day which is great cause I got paid. Later that night with power still out, and with us sick of sleeping in a 90 degree house me and my family drove out to Pechanga to spend the night there to get out of the heat. I didn't do a whole lot at Pechanga but it was really nice to be in a cold hotel with a big comfortable bed to sleep in. When I woke up Sunday morning I hit the gym at Pechanga which is free for guests and got in a nice workout which left me sore this morning. I spent most of today just cleaning and doing laundry that had piled up over the time that we had no power and I've been watching Scrubs re-runs from the very beginning of season 1. I work tomorrow, the only day next week I work which means I should have more free time to keep this updated.

Speaking of work, I really enjoy working at Michaels Arts and Crafts. Sure I've only been here a week so far but my co-workers are really cool and chill, and the job is pretty self-explanatory and really doesn't prove too many difficulties for me. I'm just glad to be employed again and making money. It's also great to get some retail experience and have friendly co-workers who don't mind putting up with me learning from them.

Oh...my phone is the Motorola Rival..here's a pic of it. I like it MUCH better than my old razr phone.

P.S. I know also have my own camera for what it's worth.
P.S.S. Things really haven't gone my way or my family's way over the past 6months to a year now and even when a few good things happen another bigger and badder thing happens. I guess it's the way life works.
P.S.S.S.(haha) I think someone is vibin but I'm not sure. I haven't been in this position before though so I don't know what to expect.

Fuck Sacrifices

2009-08-26T20:00:00.001-07:00

Why is it that everytime shit happens I'm the person who has to make sacrifices so shit will work? Why is it that I'm the only one who gets the raw end of the deal? Why is it that no matter how much I do for other people they always just take, take, and take without giving anything in return? Why am I the only one who is able to overcome circumstances just to go about doing daily things? Why do I help out others while never asking anything in return? Why is it the one time I need some fucking help and and the one time I actually got up the courage to ask for help no one can help me? Why is life so fucked up in this manner? Why am I the kind of person who always gives and rarely takes? Why am I the one who says shit's okay, when it really isn't? And WHY THE FUCK DO I ALWAYS END UP HAVING TO FEND FOR MYSELF SO EVERYONE ELSE'S NEEDS ARE ACCOMODATED FOR?? Fuck this man, I'm not even mad about this specific occassion, it's just that every single fucking time I'm the one making sacrifices and no one else gives a shit. Well ain't that some fucked up shit. This is why I like to think that you can trust no one. And why the hell am I the only one who can't get angry and frustrated and lose his cool while all the rest of you dumbasses for not even being able to accomplish such a small task. You call me a slacker! Fuck you, all of you. Everything is handed to your asses, but I, I have to go out and take shit and work for shit unlike yourself. When you do have to get shit done on your own instead of have other people do it for you, you can't! You're fucking lame! Fuck this, fuck the sacrifices and fuck you, all of you. I'm done.

Twitterific

2009-08-23T22:16:00.000-07:00

Twitter is a useful social networking tool. Why? Cause regular people like me can talk with celebrities and athletes. Thanks to twitter and Reggie Bush I got to see this hilarious video which I want to post here to remember forever. This shit is hilarious.

Let me fill you in on my first day at Michael's. It is a really chill job, not too crazy not too much. I get really short shifts because nearly all employees other than managers are part time workers. All I really do is stock shelves, make sure everything is where it should be, and that's pretty much it. My Co-workers are alright, I haven't really found anyone that cool yet except this one guy named Jonathan. It could be in part because I'm shy when I first meet people haha. I have one pretty coworker(so far) but she's 26 and taken haha, and I forgot her name already lol. I had to close today and I have to open at 6am tomorrow. It really sucks to be the new guy right about now lol. The job is pretty chill though so I should have a good time. Hopefully, the manager will be willing to work with my school schedule though, I haven't talked to him about it yet and it's really important so I need to soon.

A New Job, Another First Day

2009-08-23T01:17:00.000-07:00

Later today will be my first official day working at Michael's. I'm not really sure what to expect, but all I'm hoping is that my co-workers are cool because no matter how crumby the job is it can always be fun with cool coworkers. I'm excited to get started though because I need to get paid and start saving money. I went to Carmax yesterday to browse around and it kinda inspired me to save money to work up for a car and you know for my own place and things like that. Looks like my brother is gonna go back tomorrow and buy a car that he liked so that's good that he will finally have his own car. Uhh my stats from the SLRBL are in I averaged 14.1ppg 8.0rpg and 1.3apg which is pretty good, I'm happy about it, just wanted to throw that in here so I could look back on it later. I'm trying to get my life on track, and starting at Michael's will help financially and for experience. School starts for me in about a month I think so that should be fun, I like going into new classes and meeting new people. I'm still soul-searching for what I want to do with my life though, but I'm sure when the time is right it will all make sense.

On a different note as I was falling asleep last night I had this great idea that I wanted to do. The only problem is I soon fell asleep without writing down any of it so I don't really remember all the details that crossed my mind. I wonder if I'm the only one who comes up with his best ideas late late at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. It would be a cool idea for an invention, if someone could make something that could record your dreams/thoughts right before you go to bed so you can see em when you wake up. I remember what it was that I wanted to do last night, and I will be starting hopefully when I get back from work later today. I need to get my creative juices flowing in the style that suits me, and oddly enough I was inspired by the movies "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" and "Clerks 2", which doesn't really make any sense but it was worth putting so I can read it later and remember what inspired me so maybe I can get reinspired.

It was an Accident, I Swear

2009-08-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

Well yea, yesterday my mom and brother were involved in a car accident. Not a pretty sight, they were stopped waiting to make a left turn into their parking lot at work when thy got rear-ended by another car, which just so happened to be one of their coworkers. The pictures below shows the aftermath of the crash the blue car is ours, the blue car is ours. All I really have to say is that car accidents are no laughing matter it's been one hell of an annoying time trying to deal with the insurance companies and all that. On the bright side my brother and my mom are both alive and well, more or less.

2009-08-19T02:22:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been feeling like a big sissy. A pussy, whatever the hell you want to call it. Since the initial point of this blog was for me to kinda vent my emotions and be able to express them in words, it's about time I get back to that. I've had enough with the glits and glamour of trying to do something that other people will enjoy in my blog so fuck it, here goes. I have lately come to realize that I am a FUCKING LOSER. Now, I'm not in an emo I hate me stage where you gotta worry about my jumping off the top Mt. Rushmore or some shit like that, but I have started to realize that I don't have shit going for me. I stay at home all day bullshitting around on the internet or watching movies or stupid reality T.V. to escape from real life. Even when I do bring myself to the real life what the fuck do I do? Not a damn thing, all I do on a weekly basis is play fucking basketball and fail at everything else. I just got hired at Michaels and I acted like it was the greatest thing to ever happen, what the fuck? Are you serious, my life is so shitty that getting a job at an arts and crafts store makes me feel like the happiest man on the planet? Well that's just fucking lame. I'm almost 20 years old and I live at home with my parents, have no car, no life, and have an 11 o'clock curfew that prevents me from even wanting to go out in the first place. My life is shitty right now, I'm letting my parents run/dictate my life and I'm 20 years old. What kind of piece of shit let's that happen? Apparently I do.

The real reason I came here is to admit something to this blog that I still can't admit to myself. Blog, I admit that I am a lonely 19 year old that feels sorry for himself everyday, but doesn't feel like he's worth a damn so he doesn't do anything to change it. Fuck, I said it, I'm fucking LONELY. What are the signs that made me realize it? I get a sick feeling when I see one of my friends with their girlfriends, I haven't been with a girl in about a year and a half, I lack confidence, I find myself wasting my fucking time watching chick flicks online BY CHOICE and enjoying them, I find myself get all giddy(for lack of a better word) when the geeky kid in the chick flick gets the girl, I get crushes on characters in movies or books, and I even feel that fapping isn't worth the time. I've been drowning my own pain away by distracting myself from it with anything I can come up with, but here I am letting it be known that I am lonely. Maybe it's the fact that it's 2:30 am when I'm writing this that's making all of this come out and maybe I'll regret it in the morning. But one thing I know is that I am most honest with myself when I am so tired I can barely think.

I'm unhappy with my life. Sure I am happy day to day, and I have good times and I'm not a downer or anything, but when I lay down at night all I can think about is how lonely I am and how lonely I have been for such a long time. Hell I even let my appearance and hygiene get worse which is when you know somethings up since people have always considered me a "clean cut nice guy". I feel alone, I have so very few real friends that I talk to. All the girl friends I used to be close to have moved on to bigger and better things with their life, and I need to get shit going because I'll be damned if I'm the one person 10 years from now who still hasn't done shit. What I noticed is that I'm lonely, and what I miss more than anything is the feeling of being liked/loved by other people. Loneliness makes you feel like you just don't matter anymore, and who am I to try and give people advice when I'm not even happy with myself I sound like a fucking hypocrite and I hate hypocrites.

Shit, I wrote way too much but fuck it. It's my blog I can do what I want, and I don't fucking care that I cursed way to much in this post because for some reason it felt oh so necessary.

Lightning Fast

2009-08-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

So I don't even know why, but Usain Bolt running 100meters in 9.58 seconds was so astonishing that it needed a spot in my blog. His top speed during that run is 30mph seriously who runs like that? Watch and enjoy, sorry it's not in English this is all I could find.

Inspired by a Myspace/FB/Twitter Buddy

2009-08-15T22:09:00.000-07:00

Well so there's this quote from the movie 17 again(yes the one with Zac Efron) that actually make complete sense. It goes:

"When you're young everything feels like the end of the world. But it's not; it's just the beginning. You might have to meet a few more jerks, but one day you're gonna meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the sun rises and sets with you."

I could care less about the rest of the quote the only part that really matters is the first part, "When you're young everything feels like the end of the world." As I sit here and look back on my life and my reactions it makes complete sense. Every breakup, every loss, every failure, every success, and every disagreement leaves us feeling like the whole world has come crashing down. The funny thing is, no matter how much we don't get along with our parents they're still gonna be there tomorrow when we wake up. No matter how much we cry over a boy or a girl so that we feel like wanting to die, we still wake up the next day. Even when you get denied from your dream school and tell yourself you want to quit school because you didn't make it to UCLA something in you makes you keep going. What I'm trying to get at is that no matter how big or overwhelming the pain is, pain is only temporary. I know the feeling all too well, when everything you know comes crashing down. When every problem seems to occur all at the same time. When you can't even bring yourself to face the pain because you feel like you would rather be dead. I've been there, many times before, I've fought as many battles with myself, my parents, and the obstacles that life throws at you as the next person.

Like I said before pain is only temporary, and sometimes it's absolutely ok to dwell in your pain. As grow older though we learn to deal with pain and failure and hatred and anger. Our own maturity teaches us that the best way to deal with it, is to wait it out. Behind every dark tunnel or rough patch there is a light at the end. When the world feels like it's all over, it's a great feeling to know that when we wake up in the morning after crying ourselves to sleep it's a new day and fresh start to handle life. And so what I say when it all comes crashing down is that Tomorrow will be better. It's ok to breakdown and it's ok to be weak, but never, ever let the pain win by dragging you down the next day. Every day is a new opportunity and even if pain can win a small battle today, just now that joy and happiness has won many battles before and in the end you need to win the war.

On the darkest of days my best advice to others and myself is to stick it out, keep your head up and look to better and brighter times. Lean on the ones you trust and love more than anyone else, because when your weak you need them to be strong for you(and vice versa of course). Know that no matter how alone you may feel, YOU ARE NEVER COMPLETELY ALONE. In which case I say, I am here for you, even if I may hardly know you. A life lesson: when you need help, ask for it. Someone is always willing to help, I am always willing to help.

My Story

2009-08-10T23:09:00.000-07:00

Now I don't mean to swagger jack, but I love what Mikey and Natasha did in telling their story. I mean everyone has a story and it's always worth telling, so here is my story.

I was born in Tucson, Arizona on Davis Monthan Air Force Base. My dad is a 20 year veteran of the United States Air Force and that career played a huge part in shaping my life. I have lived many places, I have traveled many places, and I have gone to many different schools all at a young age. The only people that every remained the same in my life was my family, just my mother, father, and brother. Due to this I feel like I am a bit socially challenged although it wouldn't seem like it unless I told you, but more on that later. My mom was a stay at home mom for almost the entire time that we were moving around, and because of that she was able to make sure I was one smart little kid even before I got into school. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I was what people call a gifted child. I was extremely good in school, and it really was never challenging for me. I did well without really working hard and I got used that.

Socially I am pretty awkward. I usually won't admit this but I am. I am horrible at understanding friendship, relationships, and just connecting with other people. I find myself wondering at times if I am in over my head. I have never had a best friend, and even the ones who I called my best friend didn't consider me their best friend. I feel like I missed out on a huge part of my childhood because we moved all over the place and I feel a bit of a lost connection with the world. I've made my closest friends in high school, and have nearly no childhood friends. I also am shy despite what those who know me think. I like to meet new people, but I also get nervous meeting them. I have the need for everyone to like me so sometimes I will try to hard. I seem to be extremely confident, but only in my element. I tend to get quiet and just observe everything when I'm out of my element. Once I'm comfortable with you I speak my mind almost too often, and you can hardly get me to shut up.

When it comes to relationships I'm pretty awful. I know how to treat a women and how to make her feel good, but I like to run away. I fear committment, I fear change, I fear failure, but most of all I'm afraid of being alone. By that I mean alone without a lady friend, but most importantly alone without real friends. I push people away because I don't want to disappoint them. I find it easier to push them away rather than risk the chance of feeling like I didn't live up to expectations.

The only thing(other than my family) I've ever loved is basketball. I watched basketball as a kid and idolized certain players. I never followed anything in my life the way I follow basketball, I never even kept up with any cartoons. The only thing in this world I've been able to commit to is basketball. It's because I know basketball will never be disappointed in me, and it can never let me down either.

I'm a family man. I love my family and I spend a lot of time with them. We eat a lot and we have a lot of fun. I love kids(most of the time). I consider myself to be a very responsible person and a leader because although I hate to disappoint other people I always offer help and guidance whenver I can. It's not because I think I'm better than anyone else, it's just that I think we can learn from so much from each others views and opinions that it's necessary. I love to write and read. It's my way of escaping from the pressures and expectations that come with other people trusting you.

I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I do know that basketball will never leave my life. I major in International Business and Marketing, but I really don't know what I'm going to do after I graduate. I've never thought that I would do anything with my life other than play basketball, but once I understood that the chances of that were so slim I always thought that I would end up in my fathers foot steps in the military. On that note, my father is my ultimate role model. I look to follow in his footsteps, sure he has his flaws but I've grown up to be who I am in a great part because of him. I strive to be understanding and always search for deeper understanding and try to stay down to earth and logical. I'm simplistic and I do enjoy routine things, although I think everyone needs to be spontaneous as well. I really don't know where I'm going with this anymore because I tend to ramble. That's another thing about me, I think A LOT, and I talk/write a lot. I go from topic to topic like few others.

Oh another thing is I don't make promises. I don't make promises because I don't believe in them. My word is my bond and I keep my word when it is under my power. I'm a very sincere person and I mean what I say, ALWAYS. I hate no one, but I choose who I associate with closely. I like stability and I strive constantly for it. I laugh easily and amused even easier. I like simple things, I don't like to throw money around just to have fun. I find that I relate with very few people, but even so I relate better to girls than guys for the most part. I never really had a relationship with music until high school really. Now I have a better one, and I find that it's a very good emotional outlet. I try to keep my emotions in check and try to be a good example of stability. There are many things that I keep to myself. I strive to improve myself and my relationship with others and most importantly my life. I don't know what else to say because I have lost my train of thought, if I think of anything else I will edit the post.

Today Was a Good Day

2009-08-09T21:25:00.000-07:00

I woke up late at about noon, I new something good was gonna happen soon. Well just after I worked out and grabbed a bowl of my favorite cereal, Frosted Flakes, I got a phone call from Patrick the manager at Michael's informing me that he would like to offer me a job. I obviously took it, and I'm extremely happy about finally getting a job. When good things happen they tend to keep on coming, and so they did today. I went to my tita's house got my grub on, and then I was sent to buy some donuts. When I bought a dozen I was given and extra 3 DONUTS! How cool is that? Haha and to top it all off I got a haircut so I feel great too. This week has gotten off to a great start so let's hope things keep going well. In leau of such a good day, one of my favorite songs that just explains how I feel.

Ice Cube - Today Was a Good Day (Video)
Uploaded by M-ECLIPSE. - See the latest featured music videos.

Ahhh Snap

2009-08-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have completely failed when it comes to keeping up this blog so here is a recap. I've been running, doing sprints and agility drills with the hopes of becoming faster. Due to this I'm extremely sore. I been playing ball like usual, I finally got my first paycheck and only have a few days left with the Boy Scouts. I am having trouble with damn 24 Hour Fitness again, uhh I went to a job fair late last week and I made it pay off and landed a job interview at Michael's and I nailed that shit today. It's been a good few days for me. Things are starting to turn around for the better. Aside from this 24 bullshit life is good. I'm a bit tired because I've been losing sleep lately, but it's been worth it. I miss quite a few people though. Friends who I thought I would be closer to, and this summer really hasn't been all that great and it definitely hasn't been fun-filled. I want to get out and have some fun before time runs out though, or I'm gonna go crazy. On a side note my basketball team has one win so far(which is more than I expected) and I have already made the All-Star team. I wish I could say that things were perfect, but they are still far from perfect. I'm optimistic though as things are getting better(or so they seem).

P.S. I wanna see Funny People, Harry Potter, and G.I. Joe who wants to go with me?

Time Well Spent?

2009-07-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

I've had all week off from work so far, but I really haven't done anything productive. I had to stop working out for a while cause of many injuries and I have been to lazy to get back into it. I head back to work tomorrow and I plan to get my act straight again and get my ass to work out haha so lazy. The one good thing that I have been doing is reading. I've been lost in the world of Witchcraft and Wizardry thanks to Harry Potter and Co. I forgot just how great reading is, it's a great escape and allows to watch a movie but in your head. You are in complete control of what you see. I love the character of Hermione, in part thanks to Emma Watson playing her in the movies, but mostly cause she seems to be such an interesting character. Harry of course is the hero and you can't help but like him, and as the books get further on you start to get a sense that he has grown of age and starts to take respnsiblility for everything. Ron is still the best bro, comrade, sidekick guy and also a sense of humor even at the darkest times. Personally, the only gripe I have(about the movies) is that I picture Ginny Weasley(Ron's little sister and Harry's love interest) to look so much differently, maybe I thought she was prettier I don't really know. And for those of you that like the movies, I must really say they are nowhere near as good as the books, BUT I still really wanna see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I can't wait to see her on the big screen, may paycheck can't come quickly enough.

Welcome to Wacky World

2009-07-27T23:36:00.000-07:00

Where this past weekend has been quite of for me. To start off with, Saturday I had a bye week in my basketball league so I volunteered to referee some of the games on Saturday morning. It was my first time ever refereeing a game, and let me tell you it is no walk in the park. It's not as easy as you think. As a ref you have to keep up with the game and make sure you're always in position to see the play. Not to mention the constant bickering by the players and complaints about any calls you may have missed. It's like come on guys give me a break this is my first time reffing haha. Anyway I have new respect for referees because it is no easy job.

On Sunday my Mom's high school best friend who she hadn't seen or spoken to in thirty years visited. They found each other through facebook. My mom getting a facebook much to the shigrin of me has caused me some discomfort. Not only does she askme how to do everything, but she also can now spy on me. Anyway she came over and she's really loud just every other Filipino and she seems okay I guess. Her daughter came along for the ride too, she's a cute tiny asian girl who was wearing a red and black plaid shirt/dress with shorts underneath and braces in her teeth. Apparently she's around Keith's age and the two Mom's are trying to get Keith and the young lady(whose name is Dawn but everyone calls her apple??) to "talk" if you know what I mean. Then to top off all of the uncomfortableness, at the end of the night Apple's mom gave a baby picture of her to Keith so he can draw her(tell me that isn't weird). It was an awkward and uncomfortable night luckily the rest of our family came over too so I was able to hang out with some cool people.

Today was my first day off in a while from the Boy Scouts and I really didn't get as much sleep as I should have. I'm still currently reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince because I love Harry Potter and want to make sure that I read the book before seeing the movie. I need to get back to working out in some way because my injuries have slowed me over the past couple of weeks and I feel like I've fallen off. Good night for now blog. Maybe next time I'll have something better to tell you, but for now that's all I've got.

P.S. I saw the T.O. show, and I think I'll follow the show. Terrell Owens seems pretty cool, and I've always wanted to see what life as a professional athlete would have been like if I was talented enough to become one.

A Gift From the Heart

2009-07-24T14:54:00.001-07:00

Today was the last day for me at the week long boy scout day camp. The last day teaching 8 little "Tiger Cubs" for 8 hours a day. The last day dealing with them constantly jumping on me, yelling, asking me if they could eat, making me chase them, telling them to stop fighting, and the last day I get to hear the super cute stories that they tell me everyday. Even though at times they give me a headache and hard to deal with, I truly do have a soft spot for kids. Maybe it's the way the call me "teacher" or the way they same "teacher he he hit me"(while crying)and then two seconds later they're back to playing with each other and chasing each other around. For the most part they are super cute except when they're yelling, crying, and pouting. I had only one helper throughout the week and she was the mother of one of my students. It just so happened that her son Marcellino was one of my top two favorite kids. He was the best behaved out of all the kids, he was really smart, and of course he was a cute funny kid. What I liked most of all is that even when his mother wasn't in class with us he was even more well behaved and helped keep the rest kids doing the right thing. Not to mention that he made my day by giving me a gift at the end of the day. This is what he gave me.

In case you can't read it, it says.

"Kreg(lol), Thank you for helping us at camp this week. You're a great leader. God bless you in your studies and hope to see you again "Tigercub" Marciello.

P.S. This picture is for you to keep with you!"

Even though I know he didn't write it and his mother did, it made my day. Just to see that they appreciated all the work I had put in.

After getting off work I went to the mall with Silky to find him some basketball shoes and helped him break it in a little at the park outside my house. It has been a good day today.

The Signs

2009-07-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

So you know how sometimes G-d gives you signs to help you understand what you should/shouldn't do? You know how you're about to do something and you get the feeling that it wouldn't be worth it and you shouldn't do it? Well, readers of my blog and just people that know me fairly well may have caught on that I have a knack for getting injured. But lately, I have been getting injured so much more often than usual. Over the past two weeks I've been injured with about 3 or 4 different injuries. As soon as one goes away I get a new one. The recurring theme is that I get all of these injuries playing basketball. I have a new one now just after healing from the chin injury and the wrist injury I now have serious burns from falling and sliding on concrete that was probably well over 100 degrees in Moreno Valley today. The arm stings and looks a bit deformed because it's a bit swollen too. What I'm trying to get at though is how many injuries do I have to get in a row before I head the signs. It almost seems as if I am being told that I should take a break. These injuries even stop me from lifting because my bodies weak and not capable of doing that right now. Every time I get injured, I get right back on the court 1 to 2 days later without ever letting it properly heal. I'm so stubborn. I need to heal luckily it's a bye week for me this week meaning I don't have a game, but they still wanna practice ugh. Anyways I'm out for now. I'm going to attempt to sleep off the pain and wake up early tomorrow morning to get to work by 7. Boy I can't wait to get a new job after this Boy Scouts one.